Pour out the fire and light of love

Heal these dark sorrow filled eyes
I`m not letting go
You hold the light of life in your eyes
How can I hang on to it in my sorrow filled eyes?
Breathe in, breathe out
From the day I was born
Breathe in, breathe out
These eyes are meant to shine
I can still hear the voices shouting
The hands shoving
The blood spilling
My heart breaking
I remember just, for once wanting to belong
I remember the voices whispering
The things that I didn't want to hear
Outcast, freak, weirdo
You weren't meant to be here
I remember my heart breaking
Breathe in, breathe out
I remember the warm hands
Reaching out and saying
Enough is enough.
I thank god everyday for you
For reaching out

Cause I've been searching under a scarlet sky
I've got my memories in one hand
Clutching the possiblities of the world in another
Where do I go from here?
I can't go back to way things were
Created for a place
Not yet known
I'm searching for home
Rolling thunder, can you hear my cry?
Searching for a place not yet known
Where is it that my heart belongs?
Life tugs it every bit way
There is not enough time in a lifetime
For the journies and the dreams I carry
How do you know where you belong??

Life has changed drastically since I started this blog almost four years ago...it has become a record of my life, it's joys and sorrows, and all that has happened in between. Looking back now, these past three years since I moved down here from Thunder Bay have been nothing short of...incredible, frustrating, tiring, exhilarating and scary all in the same instance. I was reading back on some of my orginal entries and I can't believe how incredibly naive I was....thinking that everything could be fixed in one day, in one instance, and that all in the world was always good. In the past three years, I have learned that life is a constant struggle....but it is the struggle that makes it sweetly worthwhile.

 In a way, I was incredibly stupid to the ways of the world, of how things really worked. So what has changed? I'm grown up...I'm calmer, and have a huge appreciation for life and all it brings. But this time has come to an end....this blog, as much as I hate to say goodbye, has naturally come to a conclusion. There is nothig left for me here but an echo of what my life used to be like, but what a life it was!! These are the times of my life that I want to cherish and remember...Love has served as my muse, life and it's tangling webs as my canvas. These words are a reflection of the true soul of my heart, things that I haven't wrote or said elsewhere. This has been a healing place, where I could pour my heart out and not feel guilty or pressured by what came out...What is written in these pages and days, if anything else, is written out of love. A love of life, and the people and places that make it what it is. I will miss those days, where I had no worries but the worries of a 16 year old soul walking around in love with life. I am the first to admit, I am in love with life and all it's mysteries and all that it brings

I have been restless and out of my mind the past couple of days, reflecting on where I've come from and recongonizing that I have some big demons left to fight. But I can't do that here....I need to let go. I need to let go of the life I am leaving behind and move on to the life I have now, in it's bittersweet moments that I cherish so dearly. As soon as I can get all my entries saved to my harddrive and off my blog, it will be gone. I don't know if anyone will read this at all, but I wanted to say one last goodbye and thank you. Thank you for making my life what it is and what it can be and being so close to my heart. Goodbye to the sunshine, hello to the moonrise, life is beautiful either side of the sunrise

Don't give up on life
Look up the the shining sky
As it brings down a never ending love
Let life go
Let it wander as it will
Through the love, pain, and life
That we call our existence
Will you follow in my footsteps?
Believing that we can make it?
Please don't give up on me now...

The time has come to say
This one last and healing goodbye
As I reach out to the rocking skies
Goodbye to the days of old,
Where I naively thought I could
Reach out and touch a darkening blue sky
Listen to your heart
As it sets on a starry sky
Dance me outside
In the past four years
I learned to reach out
And touch the chaos that we call life
As it shattered my own selfish reality
That I once called my own
Life says a wondering hello
As I say my one last goodbye
One last goodbye to life as I know it
As I slide out through the cracks of a wandering heart,
A new journey begins
I'm off to do some rocking of the skies

Love you all, thanks for the last four years and how it changed my life....I will never forget it.

Cass

Today is the day
Where you faded away
Across the fragile veil
That seperates the thing we call life
I remember that warm August day
Of one last fleeting goodbye
Your voice is all I hear tonight
In the days old
You held me in your arms
And I followed in your footsteps
Across the fleeting days of
A childhood past
Gone are the days of checkers and chess
Gone are the days of dicussions past
Gone are the days where I knew you
If you let me
I'll remember those days for the both of us
When I'm lost,
I'll remember the lessons that you taught
When I'm hurt
I'll remeber your love
I will always miss you